The Most Iconic Methods of Drink Quickly
At some point in everyone’s drinking career, the phrase, “let’s get a shot,” has been said, or overheard. For most people - especially when they are younger - it is a not-so-nice concoction of Schnapps and some other random things. At best (see: worst) it’s tequila, and usually nothing great. 99% of the time this is not for flavor, but for effect; to skip the tutorial and jump right into the main quest of the video game, if you will. Eventually, especially for those in their young twenties, simply chugging a beer seems like the easiest route to inebriation. There are countless forms of taking a drink “quickly”, but what are the most well-known - iconic even - in their form, function, and place in society? Well, this unofficial collection aims to find that out.
It goes without saying, but should you choose to participate in any of these activities, please do so responsibly.
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The classic. Tried and true, first-ballot hall of fame item in the pantheon of drinks. Some say peanut butter and jelly is an all-time combination, but never has a PB&J made all seem good and right in the world the same way a beer and a shot has. Sure, there are bad versions out there, meant to do more harm than good, but at the end of the day, is there anything more iconic, or more welcoming, than a bartender's handshake?
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I don't know the history of the beer bong - I am curious about it though if i'm honest. What I do know, is that the first time I partook in this seemingly medieval ritual was the first time I began to understand things like physics - that moment where you drop your lower body, while raising that funnel above your head, filled and frothy. Out of nowhere, the beer shoots down the tube like a missel firing out of its silo. It defies all common sense and decency, yet it exists for a reason. A fun one at that.
Also, did you know there is a champagne version?
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When done correctly, this is truly an athletic endeavor. Poke, pull, guzzle - the canned equivalent of a shot essentially. Now, the advent of the RTD makes this a bit more of a risky notion, but it still is arguably more visible than the shot - especially at something like a tailgate. A bunch of friends, shotgun racing together, is not something that will a Nobel Prize, but it will make a great memory.
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This is equal parts practical joke, and liquid assault, and either way its funny. This act involves Smirnoff Ice, as the name implies. Take an "Ice," and either deliver it to an unsuspecting friend without them knowing what they are accepting, or hide it in a place that they will inevitably find it with an audience, and watch fun ensue. The recipient must then drop to one knee, and proceed to consume the entire drink. For the ultimate loss of friendship, give them the big bottles.
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This is a personal favorite - a almost barbaric act that still seems classy in a Lucius Beebe kind of way. Order bone marrow when available, proceed to consume it, as one should, then hold the remaining bone up to your lips. Choose a spirit of your choice, and pour it down the bone into your mouth, the spirit picking up the remnants of the bone marrow and throwing it all into your system in the best way possible.
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This is like a trust fall, or hugging a good friend. A Layback is, as its name implies, where you simply layback, and let someone pour directly into your mouth. Now, it helps immensely to have a pour spout attached to the bottle, which may be why you see this commonly when a bunch of industry folks get together. However you take a layback though, you'll find yourself being able to never stop smiling while taking part in it.
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This may or may not count for everyone, but it does for me. It only applies to the beautifully acerbic German bitters, Underberg. In their tiny bottles, wrapped in paper, they are a beautiful way to settle your stomach. Or, in the case of a night out - or day - they are a great way to hit a reset button of sorts. To put it simply, an Underberg a day, keeps the Sunday Scaries at bay. Prost!
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This one also involves two people - or more if you wanna get weird - but in a... different way. A Baby Bird is where someone takes a shot, but doesn't swallow it. They hold it in their mouth, and then proceed to drop it into the open mouth of a willing recipient. Yes, this one is not for the squeamish, as it is certainly a bit more personal, it can be better to do it with an acquaintance. Frankly though, I've been at events where it was Baby Birds from woman to man, man to woman, man to man, woman to woman, and, in one very brave instance, man and woman to man. Whatever your fancy, there is a Baby Bird waiting for you.
